sexta-feira, Agosto 31, 2012

Attention Introverts: How to Become More Extroverted

 Written by Scott Young

Already, by writing this title, I’m sure I’ve annoyed a few people. Extroversion is supposed to be a personality trait, not something you pick, but something you were born with. That might be true. But even if you are fairly introverted, I think you can still capture some of the best parts of being an extrovert:
Being comfortable with groups of people.
Meeting people easily.
Having conversations without wondering what to say.
I used to be incredibly introverted. My social life was lagging behind and I used to blame it on my personality. While I can’t claim to be an expert in charisma, I have made big improvements towards the three skills I mentioned earlier. Best of all, I still get to keep the best parts of being an introvert, like being able to focus during time alone.
How to Boost Your Extroversion
I found there were a couple of key steps I took that helped me learn the best parts of being an extrovert, without changing my personality. Everyone needs to take their own path, but hopefully by sharing the steps that worked for me, you boost your extroversion as well.
The most obvious first step is simply to spend more time with people. If you feel uncomfortable in social situations, that’s probably because you aren’t in them frequently. This advice is so obvious it hardly deserves mention, but it’s a step few decided introverts take on. If you aren’t extroverted, you won’t feel motivated to meet people, and if you don’t feel motivated to meet people, you can’t become extroverted. It’s an unfortunate Catch-22 that can stall self improvement.
If you feel stuck in this cycle of isolation, I think there are two main places you can break it. Both strategies work, and doing both at the same time might be your best option.

Find Social Activities You Enjoy
One barrier that forces many people to be introverted is if they don’t see any enjoyable social activities around them. If you don’t like going to bars, and all the people you know are party animals, you might feel happier staying in.
Realizing this was a big step in helping me become more extroverted. I realized that there were certain events and groups of people I could be a lot more outgoing with. There were other people who I didn’t connect with. You won’t connect with everyone, so finding different groups of people is a good starting point.
The best way to find new groups of people are through clubs, volunteering or small classes. Activities with a sign-up sheet. Although you can meet people anywhere, it’s way easier to connect with people if you already have a shared interest and you’re in an environment designed to help you meet new people.
Push Your Comfort Zone Limits
The second strategy to become outgoing is to crush any social fears you have. Everyone has limits at what they consider too gutsy. For extreme extroverts, these limits are pushed far back. For introverts, they might be a lot closer. Pushing your comfort zone backwards makes it easier to socialize.
Once you’ve gone past your comfort zone, it’s easier to do it again. Last year, when I moved to a new building, I took the initiative to go around and say hello to everyone. This is something that would have terrified me four years ago, but was only a mild fear at that time. A month ago, when I moved again, I did the same thing. This time the introductions were even easier to do.
My philosophy is to do the smallest step possible. Don’t beat yourself up if introducing yourself to hundreds of strangers in one day seems terrifying. Build up to it by slowly picking bigger challenges. The key to this tactic is to find the intermediate step between what terrifies you and what you do every day.
Learn the Art of Talking
Listening is an important skill. It is probably even more important than talking. However, if you’re in a conversation and you’re fighting an awkward silence, listening only magnifies that fact. Another skill to become extroverted is to be able to talk non-stop.
In practice, you won’t want to talk non-stop. In fact, the best conversations I’ve had are when I do little of the talking. But, as a reformed introvert, I can say that the worst feeling is standing in a group of people and having nothing to say. Even if you don’t speak all the time, having the ability to do so gives you a lot more confidence in social situations.
You can get the gift of gab by learning to continue conversations even when you aren’t sure what to say. Just say anything. Although you may feel awkward, usually any conversation attempts will be good enough. If you can practice this, then you’ll always have a backup in case the conversation hits a road block.
The Joy of Introversion
I’ve been promoting the side of being an extrovert, but there are benefits to introversion. As an introvert, you can get the benefits of peak productivity while working by yourself. Solitude is also useful for thinking and creative work, so being introverted can enhance your other skills.
The ideal way to live is to capture the best of both. To have the social skills of an extrovert with the quiet discipline and peace of mind of an introvert. If you can do that, who cares what a personality test says you are?

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/attention-introverts-how-to-become-more-extroverted/

quinta-feira, Agosto 30, 2012

O que é a Cura Quântica Estelar?


“Podemos dizer que a Cura Quântica Estelar (CQE) é uma complementação do Reiki, que é o nome dado à técnica canalizada pelo Dr. Mikao Usui, de imposição de mãos e do uso da energia para o bem estar físico e espiritual dos seres.”
“A CQE visa abordar aspectos mais profundos desta maravilhosa energia, pois hoje já estão disponíveis outras informações que na época do Dr. Mikao Usui não seriam compreendidas. Elas visam preparar as pessoas para as mudanças energéticas e dimensionais do organismo físico e da interposição com os corpos sutis e do planeta Terra. Estas mudanças energéticas já está intensificadas (e serão ainda mais), provocando pofundas alterações no campo eletromagnético.”
(Material extraído do livro “Tratado de Cura Quântica Estelar”, autor Rodrigo Romo.)

terça-feira, Agosto 28, 2012

Liberte-se da sua carga emocional negativa


Todos nós em alguns períodos da nossa vida somos tomados por algum tipo de carga emocional negativa. Temos de lidar com alguns dias mais sombrios, mais chatos, mais tristes, mais deprimidos ou até mesmo destruidores. Sentimos a nossa energia vital a ser sugada e os pensamentos a fugir para cenários catastróficos. Esta carga emocional pode tornar-se tão poderosa que assume o controle dos nossos pensamentos, sentimentos e comportamentos. Somos empurrados subconscientemente para uma espiral negativa crescente. Somos invadidos pela descrença, pela dúvida, pela incerteza, pela confusão, colocamos algumas crenças de base em questão e vimos os nossos alicerces tremerem. Este processo até pode ser benéfico, mas apenas o tempo suficiente para procurar uma solução. No entanto, para a grande maioria de nós, este tempo alarga-se muito para além do desejado, perturbando-nos a vida e aniquilando os sentimentos positivos.
Num estado de abatimento, ocupamos o espaço que poderia ser preenchido com energia capacitadora e positiva. Perdemos a oportunidade para flexibilizarmos o pensamento e para relativizarmos o momento que estamos a viver.  Perdemos a oportunidade para sermos o nosso maior aliado, para puxarmos por nós, para perspetivarmos um caminho que nos faça sentir melhor ou que possa minimizar o sofrimento.
sentimentos

DE ONDE VEM TODA ESSA NEGATIVIDADE?

Durante todo o curso das nossas vidas, todos nós tivemos experiências que foram difíceis e dolorosas e consequentemente foi complicado lidar com elas. Esses acontecimentos foram certamente fontes óbvias de energia negativa. Podemos até reconhecer que o trauma das experiências extremas podem ter-nos deixado um pouco traumatizados. Naturalmente, encontrar uma maneira de deixar os resíduos dessas experiências teriam benefícios duradouros.
O que você pode não perceber é que, além das fontes mais óbvias, há pequenas coisas que você pode estar fazendo a cada dia que geram efeitos colaterais negativos, como problemas emocionais e neurológicas.

Apresento sete geradores de carga emocional negativa

1. OLHAR A VIDA ATRAVÉS DE FILTROS NEGATIVOS

A nossa percepção cria a nossa visão da realidade. Se vemos a vida através de filtros negativos, certamente irão distorcer a nossa forma de experienciar tudo o que fazemos, pensamos e sentimos. Mais especificamente, ficamos especialistas em amplificar o negativo e minimizar o lado positivo. A um nível emocional, a espiral negativa vai crescer, os pensamentos começam a ficar tóxicos, podendo desenvolver várias formas de sentimentos negativos oriundos de uma visão demasiado negativista da vida. O rancor, o ódio, a irritabilidade, a vitimização, a tristeza, a angústia são alguns dos sentimentos que usualmente emergem em consequência dos filtros negativos.
Mesmo perante cenários desvantajosos é importante adotar uma atitude positiva. A pessoa deve esforçar-se por implementar o pensamento positivo na sua vida, investindo no entendimento dos seus sentimentos e tentando perceber que num estado de abatimento temos tendência para fazer distorções do pensamento que prejudicam o bom desenvolvimento da vida.

2. DEMASIADA CRÍTICA NEGATIVA

Esta é uma armadilha que é fácil cair, porque nós facilmente associamos o nosso comportamento com a nossa identidade pessoal. Na posse de alguns comportamentos que nos podem ter conduzido à situação crítica, e exacerbado pelos sentimentos negativos presentes, tendemos a construir um diálogo interno autocrítico. A autosabotagem promove o stress e este não só corrói os nossos recursos emocionais, como também tem uma influência negativa sobre a forma como nos conduzimos e a maneira como reagimos aos outros e até mesmo às nossas ações. Se quando nos encontramos numa fase critica da nossa vida queremos que os outros nos deem o benefício da dúvida e resistam à tentação de nos julgar, não devemos estar dispostos a fazer o mesmo?
Monitorize o seu diálogo interno, não se deixe ser demasiado duro consigo. Seja o seu principal aliado. Tente não culpabilizar-se, mas sim responsabilizar-se pelas ações que possam melhorar o estado em que se encontra. Se a sua voz crítica negativa ecoa na sua cabeça, orientando os seus pensamentos de forma destrutiva promovendo sentimentos negativos, certamente não o ajudará em nada. É primordial que reoriente essa voz, de forma a que o possa capacitar para a ação. E igualmente para a procura de soluções que possam fazer com que se sinta melhor.

3. PROCURAR O CULPADO OU ONDE ESTÁ A CULPA

De quem foi a culpa? Porque é que tinha de acontecer comigo? Porquê fazer este tipo de perguntas? Provavelmente estas questões surgem porque procuramos algo ou alguém ou até mesmo uma característica nossa que assuma a responsabilidade ou justifique o sucedido. Queremos colocar a culpa sobre algumas dessas coisas para que não se associe a nós mesmos. Conseguir alguém ou algo para que nos retire o fardo do sucedido, pode equiparar-se como se estivéssemos evitando algo de terrível, mas tudo o que realmente contribui é para a libertação de uma enxurrada de energia negativa que vai enfraquecer a capacidade de lidar com tudo o que está acontecendo.
Uma das melhores maneiras para nos fortalecermos é simplesmente aceitar a responsabilidade das nossas ações subsequentes aos acontecimentos.

4. COLECCIONAR EMOÇÕES NEGATIVAS

Agarrar-se a sentimentos negativos de qualquer tipo é como beber veneno. Todos nós temos experiências agradáveis ​​e não tão agradáveis. Se nos apegarmos às memórias e aos sentimentos ligados a experiências desagradáveis ocorridas no passado, isso certamente irá minar a perspetiva de futuro. As memórias do passado podem realmente comprovar-se como paralisantes dado que cada memória faz emergir o mesmo sentimento vivido aquando dos acontecimentos. Ao reviver uma e outra vez as memórias negativas e em alguns casos traumáticas, a pessoa altera o seu estado de ser. Num estado de ser negativo, tudo o que lhe segue será igualmente negativo.
Para que as memórias negativas e os sentimentos negativos relacionados ao passado não prejudiquem o momento presente, nem inviabilizem um futuro risonho, é importante deixar de identificar-se com os seus sentimentos negativos. você é mais que o seus sentimentos. Você é aquele que pode fazer coisas para sentir-se melhor. Deixe de tomar decisões baseadas nesse estado incapacitante. No entanto, se aprender a lidar com os seus sentimentos, a entendê-los e a perceber que pode ser capaz de utilizá-los a seu favor, certamente ficará muito mais esperançoso em libertar-se da sua carga emocional negativa.
carga emocional

5. FAZER COMPARAÇÕES

Esse hábito vem de uma mentalidade de escassez que se alimenta na ideia de competição ou no seu lado oposto, na ideia de vitimização. A premissa subjacente é que, para alguém ganhar, alguém tem que perder. A vida não é um concurso com as outras pessoas. Devemos todos esforçar-nos para sermos a melhor versão possível de nós mesmos. Não pretendo passar a mensagem que os termos de comparação sejam por si só prejudiciais, não mesmo. No entanto, é importante que a comparação não passe a ser o porta estandarte dos seus objetivos, dos seus valores e interesses. A comparação pode tornar-se destruidora da sua autoestima, aniquilar os seus esforços de sucesso. Isto porque existirá sempre alguém melhor e com mais do que você.
Deixa para lá. Construa-se numa base sólida de acordo com aquilo que julga estar ao seu alcance. Contextualize sempre os seus objetivos com o momento que atravessa, com as suas habilidades, capacidades, valores e objetivos de vida. Levando estas varáveis em consideração, fica mais apto a não cair na tentação de fazer comparações.

6. AGRADAR AOS OUTROS

Não importa quem você é, o que pensa, o que faz, algumas pessoas vão gostar e algumas não, algumas irão concordar com você e algumas irão discordar. Não se preocupe com isso, não fique mudando a si mesmo na tentativa de viver de acordo com as expectativas dos outros. Isso só vai criar conflitos internos e confusão. Aprenda a conectar-se com o seu eu verdadeiro. Descubra o que você quer ser.
O que o impulsiona, o que você defende, o que valoriza, o que lhe é significativo, onde pretende chegar, essas são algumas das coisas que permitirão mantê-lo no seu próprio caminho. Agradando a você mesmo. Não quero dizer que não devemos levar os outros em consideração, claro que saber ouvir e saber analisar a viabilidade de uma opinião é uma mais valia. É no entanto importante que essa opinião vinda dos outros se encaixe na sua forma de ser e de estar no mundo.

7. FAZER PAPEL DE VÍTIMA

Certamente acontecem-nos coisas na nossa vida que nos são alheias, que fogem ao nosso controle, que na verdade podemos considerar-nos vítimas. Mas, isso não quer dizer que devamos adotar o papel de vítima. São coisas distintas. Mesmo perante o infortúnio, o trauma, o revés da vida, devemos esforçar-nos por atribuirmos a nós mesmos a responsabilidade de fazer algo para melhorar ou minimizar o incómodo que possamos estar a sentir. Se nós nos vemos como uma vítima, então somos impotentes para criar mudanças positivas. O sentimento de desamparo ou de desesperança podem fazer despoletar atitudes negativas, emergindo efeitos colaterais potencialmente incapacitantes.
Aceitar a responsabilidade pela sua vida é capacitar-se, porque você fica no comando das operações.  Abandonar a mentalidade de vítima vai eliminar uma grande quantidade de negatividade da sua vida.

DESAPEGO COMO UMA ESTRATÉGIA CONSTRUTIVA

Afirmar que devemos seguir em frente perante algumas adversidades da vida, sem implementar uma estratégia eficaz e suportada por determinadas habilidades que têm necessariamente de ser desenvolvidas, pode efetivar-se como uma atitude negligente e consequentemente vazia de significado. Assim, você deve certificar-se de encontrar uma maneira de parar de carregar a sua carga emocional negativa que está a interferir com a sua capacidade de criar a vida que realmente quer. Mudar a sua vida para melhor é certamente o seu objetivo. Para que isso se efetive de forma funcional é necessário investir no desapego de algumas das coisas que estão a impedir libertar-se da sua carga emocional.
Comece por:

Fonte: http://www.escolapsicologia.com/liberte-se-da-sua-carga-emocional-negativa/

domingo, Agosto 26, 2012

12 Commandments to help you learn how to love yourself

I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it's amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.

Loving yourself is a wonderful adventure; it's like learning to fly. Imagine if we all had the power to fly at will? How exciting it would be! Let's begin to love ourselves now.

Here are 12 Commandments to help you learn how to love yourself:

Stop All Criticism.
Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

Forgive Yourself.
Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.

Don't Scare Yourself.
Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

Be Gentle and Kind and Patient.
Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

Be Kind to Your Mind.
Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

Praise Yourself.
Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

Support Yourself.
Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

Be Loving to Your Negatives.
Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

Take Care of Your Body.
Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

Do Mirror Work.
Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say, "I love you, I really love you!"

Love Yourself... Do It Now.
Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now—and do the best you can.

Have Fun.
Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!

New Louise Hay Newsletter

sexta-feira, Agosto 24, 2012

How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends



Making friends can be easy. It depends on ho outgoingyou are. If you're shy, then you need to build up your confidence to become popular. This guide might help you but what you really need is socializing skills and of course a cheerful smile.

EditSteps

  1. 1
    Just be yourself. Don't be afraid to express your opinions. If someone insults you, just ignore them. The people who are jealous and hate you will be outnumbered by the people who love you for being yourself.

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  2. 2
    Be optimistic. Even if you are feeling really down, remember that there's always something out there to smile about. A positive outlook will make people want to be around you a lot more. Be cautious, however. There's a point where optimism can be annoying. Don't be too optimistic.
  3. 3
    Crack a joke. (Having a sense of humor is important, but don't get too carried away, there are some things you have to be serious about.If you joke about your friend in a rude way it could damage your relationship with them.)
  4. 4
    Smile as much as you can! Signs of encouragement let people know you care about what they are saying. But have a reason to smile. Make it clear you have a reason to smile with humor or optimistic words. Smiling without a reason, or smiling too much may creep people out.
  5. 5
    Share interesting/silly ideas. Your thoughts can open up many doors that can lead to friendship.
  6. 6
    Listen more than you talk. Instead of nodding and smiling and occasionally wiping the drool off your face, try to take what the person says and run with it. Add your own thoughts into the mix - but don't hijack the conversation.
  7. 7
    Start by doing little things if you are very reserved. For example, every time you go to school, work, or wherever, say hello to one person and have a one-on-one conversation with them.
  8. 8
    Say "hello" to those that don't talk much. (Share something about yourself, such as where you're going or why you're there. Avoid talking about the weather - as Tom Waits says, "Strangers talk about the weather." Try to compliment them.
  9. 9
    Don't expect perfection out of anyone, especially yourself. For example, if you forget your own name while introducing yourself (which probably won't happen), just make fun of the situation.
  10. 10
    Be Patient. If you are still among strangers, the apprehension of a conversation may cause a delay in comments. Don't worry, that will go away in short order.
  11. 11
    Talk to older people, maybe even your own folks. They will be less likely to ridicule you, therefore making it easier to learn to talk well.
  12. 12
    Place importance on making social contacts. The people who are considered popular may not be the sharpest tacks in the box, but they are acquainted with important people who may contribute to their future careers. It is never too late to feel that being popular is important. If your work environment allows for it, host a party, organize a sports game, etc.
  13. 13
    Love yourself. It is difficult to like others when you do not appreciate yourself for who you are. Try exercise to improve your self-esteem. Start your journey to "self-discovery."
  14. 14
    Be loyal. Little things count. If you make an appointment, be on time. If you're in a group, show up early, and stay late (even if you don't have anything to say at the moment).
  15. 15
    Be nice to others. Always give compliments, but don't try too hard. If you are shy, take a deep breath and risk it - you never know what might happen. Again, if you are shy on the outside but a little crazy on the inside, let it out once in a while. Wear your hair up high and spin around or dance. Others will laugh and find you funny and fun to be with.
  16. 16
    Try not to be defensive over something that is possibly your own issue. For example, don't shout, "Why are you so prejudiced?" or "Why don't you like women?" when due to past situations you may just be overly sensitive. Try to always believe the best of others and give them the benefit of the doubt that can go a long way in getting to know the real person. If it turns out they are a bigot, then move on to befriend the next person and don't waste any more energy. It may take a few tries to find friends that "click." And anyway, if you're arguing with someone about something stupid such as shoes, drop it. Try to get out of arguments that are dumb. If you're arguing because you were sticking up for your friend such as something like someone was making fun of her and you were trying to stand up for her, then I completely understand.
  17. 17
    Be honest. Lying will make people not want to be your friend any more, because they will not trust you anymore.
  18. 18
    Respect everyone, no matter what they think or say. They are a person and deserve to be treated with respect. If you treat people well they will treat you the same.
  19. 19
    (Build confidence)Try to get younger friends if you are in middle school. Hanging out with kids a year or two younger than you will help build confidence, which will help you with kids around your own age. I know, no one wants to hang out with the 10 year old next door. But i promise just hang out and talk to them and your confidence will skyrocket!
    • Avoid saying something that could be taken the wrong way, but don't over-analyze what you want to say. If you think about it too much, not only will you miss out on your chance to contribute to the conversation, but what you do end up saying might sound scripted and unnatural.
    • A pendulum has to swing in the opposite direction before it lands in the middle, so if you have too much of a problem over-thinking things, first let go of it allowing for errors or failed attempts -- and let yourself say things that could be taken the wrong way (be inaccurate) until you get the hang of it, and then learn how to "filter" out those errant efforts at conversing and associating for fun and friend.
  20. 20
    Find people who share your interests. Get up, move and join a group of classmates that has similar interests whether at lunch or at a party. In that environment, it would be easier to meet people and make friends. And it's fine if your friends don't have much in common with you as long as you both are happy and comfortable. If they judge/don't approve of something you do, they aren't friends. If they don't approve of you smoking for example, don't look at it the wrong way. They're only trying to protect you. So, don't remain on the edge looking in; your move...

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EditTips

  • Don't try to be someone you're not. Just act calm and don't say anything out of the blue. If you want to talk to someone but don't have the confidence to do so; just go for it! You'll know if they want to be your friend or not by the way they respond. Maybe you could start the conversation with something simple, such as; "Hey, are you alright?" etc.
  • Everybody likes some attention, (even the shy ones). Pay a little attention to people, and often they'll repay you warmly. It doesn't take much.
  • Do not be selfish. Many think if they are generous their friends would take advantage of them. This is an absurd paradox. If your friends were taking advantage of you, you would see right through them, and they should not be considered your friend!
  • Avoid prejudice, even among age. It is not impossible for a 20-year-old to be a friend to a 70-year-old. Don't limit your possibilities.
  • Earn some money. You'll be able to go out and do more things, and if you get a job, you'll meet more people there who have similar experiences.
  • Surround yourself with people you want to be like.
  • Be passionate about what you believe in - keep your own opinions and ideas.
  • Take genuine interest in other people, and they will do the same for you.
  • A great way to start a conversation with some one new is to ask advice. Everyone wants to show off a little and most likely they'll be happy to help.
  • Start out slowly with people. Begin conversations with open-ended questions like, "How's it going?" and let the other person run with the conversation. Calibrate their initial response, to gauge whether they are responsive to more conversation.
  • Don't forget about your other friends! Introduce them to each other. That way, you'll have more to talk about and your friends can make more friends, too.
  • Sometimes people need a little coaxing. You might have to ask them "How are you?" and "What have have you been up to?" in succession before you get a deep enough response to bring about further conversation.
  • People often underestimate how self-conscious other people are. When you interact with other people, remember that they can often make the conversation uncomfortable because of their own insecurities. The best thing to do is to be confident. Confidence gives you a greater vantage point in which to see the social inadequacies of other people.
  • Aim to get respect from other people instead of their approval. People are attracted to the people that value themselves. If you are looking for other people's approval then you are implicitly saying that "I value this person's opinion of me, and valuation of me as my indication of worth." You have to value yourself and not seek anyone else's value assessment of you.
  • Surround yourself with other people and you will attract more people. People take shortcuts, and in the absence of spending hours with you to find out who you really are, they look to see that you are liked by other people (it's called social proof). As a result, they come to the conclusion, "if other people like you, then I suspect I can like you as well."
  • One thing that people like to talk about is sports. A good way to start a conversation is "Hey! How 'bout them (team)?" (If they are into sports that is)
  • It's easier to talk to people if you have shared an experience with them. Clearly the friends you have at the moment predominantly talk about interesting things they did in the past.
  • Don't be afraid to ask them for their Facebook, MySpace, AIM Screen Name, email address, phone #, etc. Its very important that you guys stay in contact if you want more friends.
  • Don't try too hard.
  • Cursing can be very unattractive, but at the same time, some people don't mind. It's best not to curse at all, people who don't like it instantly notice, but those who accept it don't notice it. But know the group you are in. Some groups of friends will like you better if you curse, but then it can be complicated(it might be OK around your same-sex friends but not when they have an opposite-sex friend over).
  • Never wear disgusting and dirty clothes. It puts people right off.
  • Always be nice to older people. Some of my best friends are older.

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EditWarnings

  • Don't allow negative treatment of your friend in a group that you wouldn't want for yourself. If something seems wrong, such as some of your friends are humiliating another friend (even if the individual is a bit of a jerk), speak up in defense. Just remember that this is your friend, too. Who cares if the others disagree: tell them that they should be loyal to this friend. Make it a point that "we are all friends". When it comes down to it, do you really want to regret not defending one of your friends in the group? Would it be worth it, to not help your friend -- and not show the others that you can be trusted to standup for them, too!
  • Avoid self-destructive thoughts. Doing things that build talent and esteem will subdue such negativity.
  • It is not necessary to accept the first person who comes along, as a friend. Judge them on their merits, not their appearance. In fact, don't judge much at all. Be cautious, however.
  • Don't try to say something just for the purpose of looking smart or funny. Most people would rather be friends with someone who comes off as being sincere, not someone just trying to show off. Make sure your humor comes naturally and isn't forced.
  • Not everybody likes a bubbly, social, funny personality. A lot of people probably like you just as you are!
  • Be yourself. DON'T think about changing into someone else that you are not as you will not get respect that way. If you lie about something that you really don't do, they'll end up finding out & maybe everyone the next week won't be into that anymore, so your best thing to do is talk about your own interests & ask them about theirs or any others they may have.
  • The 'key thing' in a conversation is the word 'you'. Ask them about themselves. DON'T go talking about yourself the whole time! If you notice you are saying "I" too much or are just talking about yourself, hurry up & finish that sentence & ask them about what they like. Example: "I like that singer's style. What kinda music do you like?"
  • Never put yourself down. Always be confident and other people will notice. Making a bad remark about yourself only makes it OK for other people to do so too.
  • Watch late night comedy so you can develop a sense of how to make people laugh.
  • Don't crack a joke every 5 seconds. People may think you're annoying, and won't want to hang around you.
  • Don't try too hard to be funny.
  • Don't laugh too much! If you're too nervous, take deep breaths and try to calm down.
  • Don't put anyone down including an older person or an ugly person. Be nice to everyone, for example don't find fault in others under no circumstances.

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Article Info

Last edited:
July 20, 2012 by Ttrimm
Recent edits by: IronSpockMasterTeresaGraceMM9900 (see all)
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