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Become Happy in the Face of Physical Misery by Leo Babauta

Last week I came down with a bad case of poison oak rash. Now, that might not sound that bad, but this rash covers all over my body (including places best left undiscusssed) and also my face, eyes, mouth. It’s not pretty, and while I won’t go into details, it’s pretty disgusting and miserable.

I have to admit, it’s frustrating. I live a pretty healthy life, eating lots of vegetables and whole foods, very little sugar and refined carbs or processed foods, and get plenty of exercise, meditation, and more. My health is usually under my control, but for almost a week now, it hasn’t been.

This weekend, as I examined my body that is giving me so much physical discomfort and stress, I thought about what was making me unhappy. And if this were the case for the rest of my life, would I just be unhappy all the time?

I considered people who have physical ailments all the time. There are plenty of people whose bodies are out of their control, who cannot physically feel good most of the time, who have illnesses and miseries every day. I am very lucky compared to them.

So here’s the process I’ve been going through to help me be happier … with a note that I constantly fail at this process and have to try it again. I’m not perfect at it, but being perfect at it isn’t the point. Learning as I go through it is the point.

1. Let Go

What am I holding onto? Two things mainly: the idea of myself as healthy and comfortable, and the expectation that life should be without physical discomfort. My idea of myself as healthy is something I have built up over the past 8 years, so when reality goes against this idea, I struggle. My expectation of life as something without pain, discomfort, itchiness, and some other gross things I won’t mention … it’s fairly strong. It’s hard to let go of these things.

Why let go of them? Because they are causing me more pain than the physical ailment itself. The real pain I’ve been going through is my inability to accept reality, and my desire for life to be a certain way. I want it my way. And when I can’t control that (which is pretty much all the time), I feel frustration, anger, depression, stress. Lots of stress. This applies to everything, not just physical ailments, but when anything doesn’t go the way I want it to.

So what’s the process for letting go? It’s first, realizing that I’m holding onto something, then second, realizing what it is I’m holding onto, and third, realizing it’s causing me pain. Then fourth, realizing that the thing I’m holding onto isn’t necessarily true. I’m not necessarily always a healthy person. I’m not always in comfort. This isn’t the way life shouldbe, and in fact it’s not the way life always is.

This is a repeated process, because two minutes after letting go, I find myself desiring it again. I practice.

2. Accept What Is

Once I let go of what I want things to be, I learn to accept reality. What is.

This isn’t always easy. Reality doesn’t match up with my fantasy/ideal of what life should be. I have to just see things for what they are, and accept them. Be grateful they are the way they are. Learn from what is.

This can be difficult because we tend to want to control things, not accept. Acceptance is seen as surrendering, passive, giving up. And yes, it’s a bit of each of these. But it’s not the end. Just because you accept, doesn’t mean you don’t act. It means you start with acceptance, then figure out the best way to act based on a place of peace and acceptance.

Acceptance isn’t a bad thing. It’s a good thing. It means you’re at peace with reality.

So I stop running away from the current moment, and just try to see with curiosity what actually is. And it’s not as bad as I’d feared. The fear, the resistance, the not wanting, is by far the worst part.

3. Act With Gratitude & Compassion

The next step in my process is to be grateful for what I have, and to act with compassion.

What does this mean?

When I’m miserable, it’s because I’m focusing on the things I see as “bad”. But I’m ignoring all the things I should be grateful for: being alive, being able to walk, being able to love, being loved, having friends, having a job I love … the list is endless.

I can find that gratitude, and focus on actions I can take that show that gratitude. If I’m constantly complaining (internally) about how miserable I am, that’s not a grateful action. If instead I seize the awesome life I have and do something good with it, that’s showing my gratitude for what I have.

Acting in compassion is what I try to do when I have accepted the moment. Just because you let go and then accept doesn’t mean you don’t act. It means you start from a place of acceptance of what actually is, and then decide how to act from there. Compassion is my guide for how to act from that place.

How do I act in compassion when my body is full of discomfort? Well, I can be compassionate with my body and take care of it. I can be compassionate with myself and give myself rest if I need it. Or I can be compassionate with others, and stop focusing on myself so much. I can find ways to alleviate the suffering of people around me, or find ways to take what I’m learning and share it with all of you, and hope that it helps someone.

Acting in compassion can take the focus off of yourself and put it somewhere that brings good in the world.

Leo Babauta is the creator and writer of Zen Habits. He is married with six children and lives in San Francisco (previously on Guam), He is a writer, a runner and a vegan.  His Zen Habits website is one of the Top 25 websites in the world.

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- See more at: http://www.evolutionezine.net/become-happy-face-physical-misery-leo-babauta/#sthash.EI1ylBp7.dpuf

http://www.evolutionezine.net/become-happy-face-physical-misery-leo-babauta/

Pure Clean Energy - Audio and Visual Frequencies OM136

How Negative Energy Affects Your Life – And How to Clear It

You know that like attracts like, right? So here’s the deal: Positive people are drawn to positive energy; negative people are drawn to negative energy.

We tend to perceive negative energy as something other people have. Sure, sometimes we feel negative – as in, “go away and leave me alone, world!” but did you know that negativity can be so ingrained in you that it goes unnoticed?

That’s because negativity sometimes wears a disguise called ‘reality’. It’s easy to rationalize that you’re ‘just being realistic’ in not daring to act on a dream – and believe it!

You may assume that positive people are not being realistic – that they’re being naive, that they are in denial with their heads stuck in the sand, that they put on fake smiles in the face of difficulty and so forth. But are they really happy idiots or is there something to their positivity?

Consider this: since when does ‘being realistic’ necessarily mean that things will go wrong and that you have to accept that as the truth?

That doesn’t mean that being realistic is automatically negative. When you view the world from a ‘realistic’ standpoint, you can’t help but be negative IF your version of reality is negative.

If your version of reality is negative, you are conditioned to believe that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong and whatever can go right, will probably go wrong too. Your unconsciously held beliefs make you into a negative person without your being aware of it!

So – if this negativity is so ingrained in you that you don’t notice it, how do you determine whether you’re stuck in a cloud of negative energy that is attracting the wrong people, wrong situations and wrong feelings? And how can you be sure you’re not perpetuating that negativity?

Here’s a quick quiz to gauge the level of negative energy within you:

• Do you complain? All the time or just sometimes?
• Do you often discuss what’s wrong in the world more than what’s right? This includes the ‘terrible’ weather, ‘horrible’ traffic, ‘idiotic’ government, ‘lousy’ economy, ‘stupid’ in-laws, etc.
• Do you criticize? All the time or just certain people?
• Are you attracted to drama and disaster (can you unglue yourself from the TV when there’s a news story of a disaster and can you avoid getting involved in the lives of dysfunctional celebrities?)
• Do you blame? All the time or just certain situations?
• Do you believe that you have no control over most of your results?
• Do you feel like a victim? Do you talk about people doing things to you?
• Are you grateful for what is or will you be grateful when things finally start going right for you?
• Do you feel like things are happening to you? Or do you feel that they are happening through you?

*

This last two points are important:

If you’re not grateful except when things go right, you are negative. Gratitude is positive. If you are grateful for what is (including the unpleasant school of life lessons, then you can invite more and more positive energy into your life.

Believing that things happen to you puts you in the role of victim; then it’s easy to be negative because it’s convenient to give up that power. So consider this alternative: who or what is to blame when GOOD things happen to you? Do you acknowledge that you are responsible for the good things – as in, you worked hard, you earned it, etc… but blame external events or other people for your failures? So how come, when good things happen, they are a result of what you do, but when bad things happen, they are not your fault?

Nobody likes to hear that. It takes courage to accept that you create your life experience!

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you are holding on to negative energy to some degree! To clear your negative energy and raise your vibration, you will need to retrain yourself to choose a positive attitude.

Here’s another interesting idea to consider: have you noticed that positive people seem to get what they want out of life, and even if things don’t go their way, they still enjoy their lives… while negative people whine and moan about their misfortunes and even the good things in their lives?

To clear negative energy, try this 3 -step process:

1. Take ownership: “When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.” – the Dalai Lama

2. Cancel negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. This takes practice, dedication and making a decision to see the world through the eyes of “what can go right” instead of “what can go wrong.” You’ll have to catch yourself anytime you are acting out or speaking out your negativity, and immediately change your tune.

3. Use the Love or Above Spiritual Toolkit to clear your energy and bring more light and love into your life; visualize the positive instead of getting sucked into negativity; overcome past conditioning; think intuitively from the soul instead from ‘reality’; create a new, desired reality in your imagination and manifest it in the outer world. Nobody wants negative energy to permeate their lives, yet many of us allow it. But we allow it unconsciously, based on past conditioning that suggests an inevitable outcome to certain situations. When you overcome that conditioning and realize that the future is NOT cast in stone but that you have more control over your circumstances than you believe – then you can begin to consciously design your life.

What’s going to happen then? Your positive energy will magnetically attract what you consider to be good and right for you: people, situations, things… and you’ll notice a huge, huge increase in your happiness and inner peace.

Why not choose positive energy? Make some changes within, and you’ll quickly see positive changes in your life. Enjoy the good feelings and abundance!

Source:

Love or Above

 http://www.evolutionezine.net/negative-energy-affects-life-clear/

http://www.loveorabove.com/blog/negative-energy/

Psychic and Energetic Protection -Teal Swan-

Positive Body Image GUIDED MEDITATION

3 Things Happy People Understand

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If today is like every other day, you will be inundated with messages about what you need in order to be happy. And all these things will be things. Products you need so you can look right, or feel right or smell right. But Happiness Is an Inside Job, as Sylvia Boorstein writes in her best-selling book. And it really is. We can get so caught up in chasing brass rings, making deadlines, dieting, and waiting for vacations that we truly forget to live. Here are three reminders so that you don't get caught up in the insanity, and miss all the beauty that happens in each day.

1. There's only one you.

We have roughly 7 billion people on this planet, but we only get one you. That's pretty amazing when you stop to think about it. There are somewhere between 30-100 trillion cells that come together to make up the person known as "you," and these cells have never, and will never, come together again in exactly the same way. You have your memories and your experiences and your outlook. You have your particular gifts to share, your unique perspective, your beautiful, tender heart. If you don't sing your song, the world will be robbed of notes only you can provide. Don't allow yourself to get caught up in being, looking, feeling and smelling like everyone else. Just be you.

2. What other people think is none of your business or concern. We can get so bogged down in worrying about how we might be judged. First of all, most people have enough work to do keeping their own side of the street clean. And as Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do." Secondly, you're the one living your life. At the end of the day when you're looking in the mirror as you're brushing your teeth, you're either looking at a friend, or a stranger. When we deny what's true for us in order to please other people, or to live up to some idea of how we think we should be, we betray ourselves. Doubt and fear are normal emotions we'll all experience, but when we allow those feelings to stop us from living life in a way that feels good to us, we feel lost and alone. It's impossible to find our way when we repress or deny our intuition.

3. Being vulnerable is part of being human. This is tough to swallow for so many people, but it's reality. We have these bodies with their unknown expiration dates. Every single person we love is in the same boat. We never know what might happen from one day to the next. These truths can fill you with fear, or they can inspire you to live and love with your heart wide open, every single day. So you make sure the people in your life know how you feel about them. So you don't hold onto grudges, or focus on ways you've been slighted or wronged. Life is too short for that. If you're in a relationship that brings you nothing but pain, you'll have to get out, because life is too short for that, too, and because you can't shine your light if you're participating in something that crushes it. You have this one life. I think the idea is to leave nothing in the tank, to share all the love you've got for as long as you have to give it.

We're culturally trained to think in terms of milestones and markers. We'll be happy when we graduate from a good school, get a great job, meet the right person, buy a big house, lose those 10 pounds. The truth is, life is made up of moments. Connection, love, laughter, giving from your heart, affection, a hug from your little one or your partner, your brother, your best friend, the feeling of the sun on your face, passing but real connection with a total stranger -- all these moments are so filled with beauty. If you can string together a bunch of beautiful moments, you'll have an incredible day. And if you string together a bunch of days like that, you'll have an amazing life.

Follow Ally Hamilton on Twitter: www.twitter.com/AllyHamiltonYA

MORE:

VulnerabilityHealthEmotional WellnessHappiness TipsHappinessHappy PeopleHappy TipsHappy People TipsEmotional Wellness Tips

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ally-hamilton/happy-people_b_5362628.html

What Is The Best Way to Raise Your Frequency?

COMO CONVIVIR CON PERSONAS TOXICAS y SALIR AIROSOS DE ESOS ENCUENTROS

COMO CONVIVIR CON PERSONAS TOXICAS y SALIR AIROSOS DE ESOS ENCUENTROS

Las personas toxicas juegan juegos para robarte la energía que tienes que utilizar para lograr tus sueños y metas, así como para vivir en armonía contigo mismo y con los demás despojándote de la paz que tienes como derecho experimentar y vivir.

Las personas toxicas, no saben que son toxicas, están enfermas y enferman a los demás, pero no tienen consciencia de su grado de toxicidad.

Las personas toxicas, hablan todo el tiempo, no valoran el silencio, la meditación, la oración, no pueden hacerlo por que como tóxicos al fin necesitan desesperadamente la energía que tu les proporcionaras para que sus vidas puedan tener algún sentido, y si juegas el juego ellos se energizaran a tus costillas, y quedaras completamente desfallecido de un intercambio energético completamente inadecuado e inútil, para la evolución y el crecimiento personal, de todos los involucrados. 

Sabrás que te encuentras con personas toxicas cuando la conversación del día se basa en descalificar, criticar, abierta o sutilmente, o enmascaradamente, a personas presentes y ausentes, de tal forma que mermen la autoestima y el sentido del valor del sujeto , al menos para su concepto y forma de ver la vida que obviamente no coincide de manera alguna con la tuya.

Las personas toxicas, no les gusta aprender de los demás, puesto que para ellos no hay nada que asimilar, de los demás, en sus mentes piensan que son los demás los que tienen que aprender de ellos aun cuando vivan vidas miserables.

Las personas toxicas pretenden armonía , felicidad, prosperidad y salud, discutiendo , provocando conflictos , hablando de la infelicidad que le producen las circunstancias externas, de la escasez, de la muerte y de la obscuridad, sin entender que existe un solo camino hacia la evolución personal y es a través de la luz, de la buena voluntad, y del reconocimiento humilde de los errores cometidos para que puedan ser corregidos, entre otras. 

Todos tenemos que convivir con personas toxicas, y revisar el grado de toxicidad que nosotros tenemos en nuestros modelos mentales y de comportamiento interpersonal, la mayoría de las veces , esto constituye un punto ciego , es decir que no tenemos consciencia de que estamos de una u otra forma contaminados, pero es muy fácil que lo determines, observando los síntomas de la enfermedad del Espíritu:

1.    Perdida de tu paz interior

2.    Discusiones acaloradas fuera de todo contexto racional y de las buenas costumbres.

3.    Incomodidad corporal, dolores de cabeza, dolores musculares, dolor de estomago, en fin cualquier dolor en tu cuerpo te esta indicando que estas desconectada de la fuente adecuada de energía, y conectado a una fuente altamente toxica para tu propia salud.

Existen distintos tipos de personas toxicas, y grados de toxicidad:

Los Intimidadores, son las personas que discuten, siempre quieren tener la razón, te amenazan, ofenden verbalmente y en el peor de los casos se van a las manos.Losdistantes, te ignoran, eres un sujeto absolutamente invisible, simplemente no existe, y a través de un aislamiento maquiavélicamente premeditado te hacen sentir un cero a la izquierda, esa es la idea , robar tu atención y energía.

Los interrogadores, son los críticos audaces, disfrazados de lo que en la actualidad le denominan críticas constructivas, pero en el fondo, son habilidosos para destruir poco a poco a través de un cuestionamiento incesante tu conducta, tus actos y tu manera de proceder, para robarte la energía, y hacerte perder el valioso tiempo que debes canalizar hacia la consecución de tus metas y objetivos importantes, haciendo de lo intrascendente e irrelevante el quid del asunto, cuando realmente no lo es.

Los Pobres de mi, son aquellos sujetos que desde que llegan al encuentro o reunión, no hacen otra cosa que lamentarse de su situación, de la situación del país, de las condiciones del clima, de la economía, de los pobres, de los ricos, de lo que sea , la idea es hacerte sentir culpable si tu eres feliz, puesto que eres un inconsciente que no vives las realidades ajenas, ( Es decir la de ellos ) es decir un estado mental de pobreza mental e indefensión, impotencia ante la vida y las circunstancias que no son capaces de asumir en su totalidad, buscando atención, caricias para dejarte completa y absolutamente sin energía para disfrutar, vivir, amar y compartir de manera natural hacia un intercambio sano, constructivo y edificante.

Los Distantes, marcan distancia y categoría  luego de haber intimado contigo, se alejan al sentir su propia vulnerabilidad, y fragilidad  necesitan ocultarla, esconderla hay un temor inmenso a seguirte mostrando  su mundo interior y que puedas hacer uso de lo que han compartido, se sienten tan vulnerables e indefensos , que el temor supera el deseo de convivir y amar. Los distantes necesitan hacerte sentir débil a ti, a través de la indiferencia, el ostracismo, la incomunicación  eso si después de haberte entregado una parte importante de sí mismos, entiende que el problema lo tienen ellos, no tu, el problema lo tienen aquellos que tienen miedo a la intimidad, se sienten amenazados , por el sagrado  encuentro de dos almas , tan sencillo por qué no han evolucionado lo suficiente como para admitir su propia oscuridad, pero sobre todo su autoimagen de fortaleza que han construido como a un fortín, se ve amenazada ante la realidad de su propia humanidad compartida , pero  todavía no aceptada e integrada por ellos mismos.  No te lo tomes de manera personal, sigue con tu vida, ignora a los que te ignoran, se indiferente a los que son indiferentes contigo, no caigas en la trampa de quedarte paralizado frente al juego del aislamiento, déjalos a ellos en su propio mundo y tu continua viviendo y escribiendo tu propia historia feliz, con aquellos que si se atreven a ser ellos mismos sin mascaras sociales y sin sentirse amenazados por su propia humanidad  aun no  confesada y admitida.

La forma que tenemos para salir victoriosos de esos encuentros tóxicos, es estar preparados, mentalmente para entender y comprender cuales son los juegos que están o estamos jugando y decidir si participaremos o no, si caeremos o no en la tentación, con sus temibles consecuencias, entender que nuestra paz es asunto nuestro y no de los demás, que para discutir hacen falta dos personas, y que en el peor de los casos, si te has visto involucrado en algunos de los juegos , tomar consciencia, y salirte de ellos, lo antes posible con la finalidad de mejorar tu energía y la calidad del encuentro, así como también pedir excusas o perdón ante algún improperio o imprudencia , se hace necesario para actuar en base a la cordura y las buenas costumbres de personas civilizadas en una comunidad que quiere seguir creciendo y evolucionando en conjunto y hacer de los encuentros momentos especiales para la vida y los buenos recuerdos de momentos compartidos.

Maria Tirone
Personal Coach

http://www.sabiduriadelaluz.org/2014/01/como-convivir-con-personas-toxicas-y.html

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