Published: June 27, 2013
Core negative beliefs keep us stuck, frustrated—and often fat.
MOST OF US HAVE an endless loop of negative thoughts that plays in our heads, a negativity script scrolling on our inner teleprompter that was written so long ago, and plays so continuously, that most of us are hardly aware it’s there. This negativity script eats up an incredible amount of energy, goodwill, and self-esteem. Feeding this well of negativity often leaves us with an insatiable emotional hunger, which we frequently misinterpret as physical hunger (especially if our biochemical conversation is off). This script is the sound of your inner conflict, and the louder it plays, the more stressful it is on your body.
You may be tempted to think you don’t have a negativity script, but let’s try this exercise. Below, I’ve listed just a few of the most universal statements that I hear from my patients. Read them and circle any that sound familiar—any that you’ve ever said about yourself.
§ If I could lose weight, I’d be happy.
§ I hate the way I look. How did I let this happen?
§ I hate my hair/skin/legs/breasts/thighs [fill in your own body part].
§ My life is such a mess.
§ Bad things always happen to me.
§ I don’t have any time for me.
§ No one will ever love me/want me because I’m so fat.
§ I feel so unattractive.
§ I’m just so tired/angry/anxious/sad.
§ I’m a _____ [loser, liar, faker, worrywart, shrew, bad mother, bad wife, bad friend—fill in your own self-criticism].
How many of these statements sound like something you’ve said to yourself? How often do you find your inner voice (the sound of your intellect) giving you a good drubbing? Now take another minute and choose any of the following statements that you feel are sincerely true about you:
§ I am amazing.
§ I take terrific care of myself.
§ I am getting the love/appreciation I deserve.
§ I am sexy.
§ I am beautiful.
§ I take time to play every day.
§ I’m honest with myself and others.
§ I’m good enough.
§ I am worthy of love/money/commitment/pleasure/_____.
§ I’ve accomplished a lot.
The negativity script wouldn’t be a big deal if we didn’t secretly believe all those terrible things we say about ourselves. But we do. Without a meaningful, powerful counter to these negative thoughts, is it any wonder that they become what you believe about yourself deep down inside? We unwittingly set a place at the table for these core negative beliefs and they keep us stuck, frustrated—and often fat.
Your negativity script can change. Just as you can “talk” to your cellular DNA with food, you can “talk” to your conditioned psychological responses through different kinds of therapies and change them. But you have to take the time to unearth the root cause. It takes a lot of work, but if you do it, you’ll find that the internal heckler finally shuts up. You just don’t have to listen to her anymore.
Marcelle Pick co-founded Women to Women in 1983 with a vision to change the way in which women’s healthcare is delivered. Marcelle undertakes a holistic approach that not only treats illness, but also helps women make choices in their lives to prevent disease.