sexta-feira, agosto 29, 2014

SAVEZ-VOUS QUE VOTRE SYSTÈME IMMUNITAIRE TRAVAILLE POUR VOUS RAMENER VERS L'AMOUR DE VOUS-MÊME?

Regardons d’abord l’aspect physique du système immunitaire avant de comprendre le lien qu’il a avec l’aspect spirituel de notre vie.
Nous savons tous que notre système immunitaire a pour fonction de nous protéger contre toute substance qui agresse notre organisme en produisant une inflammation qui est un mécanisme de défense automatique. Notre système immunitaire inné ne fait pas de différence quant au type d’agression, mais il sait instinctivement quand une substance ou un corps étranger n’est pas bénéfique pour nous. Si ce premier moyen de défense n’élimine pas la substance étrangère assez rapidement, le système immunitaire développe des cellules mémoires pour créer une réaction immunitaire spécifique qui agit contre un agresseur déjà connu et pour lequel il a été créé. En plus il déclenche beaucoup plus rapidement la défense contre la substance agressive répétitive.
Quels sont les agresseurs qui nous attaquent continuellement? La peur, la culpabilité, les accusations, le rejet de soi, etc. 
Tout ce qui n’est pas de l’amour de soi en fait. Notre système immunitaire représente notre Dieu intérieur. Il sait quand nous ne sommes pas dans l’amour véritable et nous envoie un signal par l’inflammation qui se produit. Nous avons beaucoup de chance d’avoir un si bon gardien à l’intérieur de nous qui a pour seule fonction de nous ramener à l’amour de nous-même.
Malheureusement, au lieu d’écouter le message qu’il nous envoie et qui nous dit de regarder en nous lorsque nous avons des problèmes physiques, nous laissons notre ego nous convaincre que nous sommes agressés de l’extérieur puis nous cherchons le coupable et croyons que nous devons nous battre contre lui.
On se bat en prenant un médicament, en accusant les autres lorsque nous avons un problème de relation ou en s’accusant et en se justifiant sans cesse, etc. Le problème peut sembler résolu pendant un certain temps mais il finit par revenir. Par exemple, soulager un mal au dos avec des médicaments ne règle pas le manque d’amour de soi qui se cache derrière ce mal.
Chaque fois qu’une personne prend sa responsabilité – j’en ai été témoin des milliers de fois – son problème se résout très vite. Pourquoi? Parce que prendre sa responsabilité, c’est arrêter de croire que les malaises viennent de l’extérieur ce qui fait en sorte que nous n’avons plus besoin de nous battre contre eux. Le corps reçoit donc le message qu’il n’a plus besoin de se défendre, qu’il peut revenir à son état naturel et que la situation est maîtrisée. Une personne responsable peut quand même décider de prendre un médicament ou accepter toute autre forme d'aide lorsque ce qu’elle vit est trop souffrant. L’important est qu’elle se rappelle qu'elle a elle-même créé ce malaise et qu'elle veut arriver à en comprendre le message.
Être responsable implique donc l'acceptation que VOUS SEUL créez votre vie à chaque instant. Chaque fois que vous donnez votre pouvoir aux autres en croyant qu’ils sont la cause de vos problèmes, vous n’êtes pas dans votre cœur car c’est votre ego qui prend le dessus. La vraie guérison est alors impossible. Vous ressemblez donc au système immunitaire spécifique qui réagit de plus en plus vite quand un problème resurgit.
Supposons que votre conjoint vous ment. La première fois que vous vous en rendez compte, vous vivez de la colère mais vous lui en parlez et espérez que ce que vous lui avez dit pour vous défendre arrangera la situation. Vous allez être bien pour un certain laps de temps, jusqu’au jour où il vous mentira à nouveau. La deuxième fois, votre réaction sera un peu plus rapide et forte. D’ailleurs, elle empirera chaque fois que la situation se répétera jusqu’à ce que vous preniez votre responsabilité et arrêtiez de croire que votre réaction est causée par une agression  extérieure. Sachez qu’au plan métaphysique, toute inflammation est une indication que nous vivons de la colère parce qu’on accuse les autres ou soi-même de quelque chose, ce qui est contraire aux lois de l’amour.
Afin de prendre votre responsabilité, vous devez vous demander pourquoi vous avez attiré un conjoint qui vous ment. Vous l’accusez d’être quoi? La réponse à cette question vous fera découvrir ce que vous vous accusez vous-même d’être parfois ou vous fera prendre conscience de tout ce que vous faites pour ne pas être ainsi parce que vous n’acceptez pas cette partie en vous. Vous aimer signifie accepter toutes les parties en vous, que vous les considériez négatives ou non. S’aimer, ce n’est pas seulement s’accepter dans ce que nous aimons de nous. C’est aussi s’accepter dans ce que nous n’aimons pas de nous en ayant à l’esprit que c’est toujours notre ego qui dit que ce n’est pas bien d’être ainsi.
S’aimer c’est se donner le droit d’être ce que nous sommes à chaque instant, c’est-à-dire accepter nos forces et nos faiblesses, nos hauts et nos bas. Vous pourrez ainsi accepter ceux que vous accusez et même les remercier pour ce que vous apprenez sur vous-même grâce à eux.
Avec amour,
Lise Bourbeau
http://www.ecoutetoncorps.com/fr/ressources-en-ligne/chroniques-articles/savez-vous-que-votre-systeme-immunitaire-travaille-pour-vous-ramener-vers-lamour-de-vous-meme/

quarta-feira, agosto 27, 2014

GENTIAN. La Perseverancia

  
Hace unos días una de mis alumnas me envió estas preciosas fotos de Gentian. Amante de las flores, y observadora de su signatura, me contó que le llamó la atención, primero, su color, y después, su ubicación, hacia el norte.
 
         Si reflexionamos sobre Gentian, observamos que como  esencia nos aporta perseverancia, como decía mi alumna, es como si la planta dijese "al norte, sin perder el norte". Y efectivamente, Gentian nos enseña a seguir el camino que nos hemos trazado con perseverancia, sin flaquear, aunque las cosas a veces se tuerzan. El color azul intenso nos indica una mirada hacia el infinito, hacia la confianza, hacia seguir hacia adelante aunque a veces no entendamos con la razón el porqué de lo que nos sucede.
 
 Creo profundamente que en el caminar por la vida necesitamos sueños. Sueños con los que soñar despiertos. Sueños que nos aporten pasión por vivir día a día. Creo que a nuestros hijos e hijas tenemos que enseñarles a soñar y a desear alcanzar lo soñado. Porque creo que es un lujo dedicarse a lo que amamos y amar lo que hacemos.
En este camino, hay obstáculos, aprendizaje, desánimo y expectativas.
 
Hay días soleados y días lluviosos. Y días de nubarrones negros.
 
 
Gentian nos regala su luz azulada, para aferrarnos y confiar en esos días en los que parece que lo que hacemos no da sus frutos.
Gentian nos brinda la fuerza y la fe para perseverar, para seguir apasionados por la vida y seguir hacia adelante sin entender todo lo que nos sucede. Puede que en un futuro, echando la vista atrás lo entendamos. O quizás, no lo entendamos nunca. Quizás.



lamagiadelasflores: GENTIAN. La Perseverancia
http://lasfloresylamagiadeser.blogspot.pt/2014/06/gentian-la-perseverancia.html

quarta-feira, agosto 20, 2014

Healing the Hurt of Rejection


Building Your Self-Esteem Back Up After Someone Rejects You

Fabienne FredricksonMore by this author

One of the greatest fears people experience is the fear of rejection. That’s because there are few things that hurt as much as rejection. We create meanings about our worth based on incidents in which we’ve been rejected. These meanings then help shape our self-image, which dictates the decisions we make in our lives.
It’s very easy to believe that when someone rejects you, whether it’s in love, friendship, family, work, or otherwise, it’s because something is wrong with you. Anyone and everyone can be rejected, no matter who they are. If someone rejects you, it doesn’t diminish your innate value because it doesn’t affect your soul. It affects your ego, which loves to blame and thrives on making you feel like a victim. But your soul stays perfectly intact. The essence of who you are, the core of you, doesn’t change, and neither does your worth.
Rejection hurts when we internalize it. When we do this, we allow someone else’s actions and opinions to shape how we feel about ourselves. We then create a belief that the person who has rejected us is better. Conversely, we start to believe we are somehow unworthy. Yes, those who’ve rejected you may have had their reasons or rationales for doing so. Those reasons don’t have to be about you specifically, and they don’t mean anything about you as a person. In fact, the meanings you created about yourself based on rejection are actually not true.
Let me share this example: When my mother died suddenly while I was in college, I began staying out late to drown my sorrows. I didn’t show up for classes, and I quickly started failing. I felt lost and wanted badly to have direction in my life. I desperately looked for an anchor to get me grounded. I wanted something to belong to that would make me feel significant, like I mattered. I applied for the position of social chair of my sorority. Being a social person, I thought that I would be great at it.
The day we were to vote on the members of the new board, we all assembled in the sorority meeting room, and I was anxious. After several board positions were voted on, it was time to elect the social chair. The president asked the applicants to raise their hands, and, once acknowledged, we were asked to leave the room while the other members discussed the applicants and took a vote.
I came back into the room and learned that I hadn’t made it. So when the next position was offered, I raised my hand. Again, I left the room while the decision was being made. And, again, I wasn’t selected. I started to feel embarrassed, but because I so desperately wanted to have something significant in my life, I raised my hand to apply for the next position. Once again, I was not chosen. This happened again and again until the entire board was filled.
That day, it felt as if I died several deaths, one after the other. I felt like the whole room, the whole sorority, and the whole world were against me. I couldn’t believe they hadn’t taken pity on me, especially after having applied so many times. Especially since my mother had just died. I wanted them to throw me a bone, but, instead, it was the ultimate rejection. I left that room crushed, embarrassed, and humiliated, having lost every ounce of confidence that I had. I felt worthless, unloved, and unlovable.
That night, I cried and cried into my pillow, feeling like a victim, blaming them, and hating every single one of them. I wanted to punish them. After I dried my tears, I decided that I was going to leave the sorority, drop out of college, and move back to France to be with my father. So I did. It wasn’t until close to 20 years later that I realized what had actually happened in that room. I created an image of myself as unworthy and unlovable, based on that experience. Looking back now, I will admit that my opponents had prepared elaborate presentations and detailed how they would use the social chair position to create a better year, and I hadn’t prepared anything. I didn’t have a plan. I just showed up and expected to win based on my personality.
What I see now is that leaving college was one of the best things that could have happened to me. I don’t advocate that for everyone, but for my self-esteem and my evolution, it was important that I leave and start my career. It was important for me to move in with my father so that I could feel grounded. It was time that I started my life. If I’d stayed in school, I would have delayed that process for another two years.
There was a reason for the sorority incident, but it wasn’t until I looked past my ego and humiliation that I saw the blessing in it. Though it felt like I had died a thousand deaths, it was a divine, defining moment, and it was in my long-term best interest. See the bigger picture in rejection. If someone rejects you, it’s because you’re just not meant to be in that situation, no matter how much you want it.
In fact, if I look back on every rejection I have endured in my life, unequivocally, each was there as a compass to take me in a different direction that would bring me back to my soul’s path. Each rejection was a correction. When I was going off track in my soul’s journey, the rejection was a realignment toward what was best for me.
We all have things that happen to us that don’t make us feel good about ourselves. But the difference between people who are happy and healthy and those who are miserable and bitter is that happy people don’t internalize or create a meaning about themselves based on a particular rejection. It’s best to look at rejection as an opportunity for something else, something better, waiting just around the corner.
Resist the temptation to blame or hate the person who rejected you, even if he or she wasn’t nice about it. Find a way to wish that person well instead. You may not realize it in the moment, but that person is actually an angel in disguise, leading you in the right direction by putting an end to the path you were on. See it as a divine redirection instead. To learn more about improving your self-esteem and stepping into your full potential, see my book: Embrace Your Magnificence.

sexta-feira, agosto 15, 2014

The secret of living life to the fullest.

What keeps most people from living each day, each moment, to the fullest? Three things: Worry, Regret, and Fear.

Worry is living in the future instead of the moment. Worry is a pessimistic approach to life. When you live in worry, you're constantly asking 'what if this happens?', 'and if this happens, what if that happens?'

You trade your life for shadowy possibilities, piling one on top of the next until the weight of 'what if' pins you in your pessimism.

Regret is living in the past instead of the moment. Regret is a shameful approach to life. You look behind you, and wish things were different. You constantly tell yourself 'if only I'd done that differently', and 'if I had done that differently, I'd be there instead of here'.

You trade your life for guilt and sorrow, examining every decision until your second-guessing becomes paralysis and you stop moving forward.

Fear is living in uncertainty instead of now. Fear is a timid approach to life. When you live in fear, you hold back, denying yourself and others a world of possibilities.

You trade your life for scenes of things that could go wrong, and the movie you create keeps you in your seat, alone in a dark theater.

The antidote to worry is refocusing on NOW. Right this moment. What do you see, what do you smell, what do you taste, what is in your lap and in your life right this minute? This is what's real.

The cure for regret is two-fold: acceptance and forgiveness. It is what it is. You are where you are. You cannot change what was, you can only build on what is. You did the best you could with all of your resources at that moment. It's what you will do NOW that matters.

The solution for fear is faith. You have been protected and provided for right up to this very minute. It will continue. Do good for others; trust you will receive good in return.

Take an inventory of the things you have to be thankful for, and you will see the big picture.
This moment will never come again. Savor it for all it is NOW. Direct your attention toward the people and places and things you experience NOW.

This is the secret of living life to the fullest.

By Victoria Monfort

http://positive-thoughts.typepad.com/positive-thoughts/2014/07/the-secret-of-living-life-to-the-fullest.html

terça-feira, agosto 12, 2014

14 ways to raise the vibration of your home!

14 WAYS TO RAISE THE VIBRATION OF YOUR HOME!



By Morgan Potts 

We cleanse our home energetically in
order to welcome good, high vibration energy into your space, and clear
away any negative vibes. This way, not only are our bodies vibin’ high
and in total alignment with our dreams, but so is our home.
A home filled with good vibes brings on better conversation, meditation,
cooking, working, creativity and so much more. There will be less
fights, misunderstandings, arguments and sadness. The place you spend
most of your time should be a space you want to spend time in, and create beautiful things.
Feel the energy, love your space, sink into its bliss!

1. Burn Sage

Burning smudge sticks made from sage, or any other purifying herb, like
lavender, or sweet grass is energetically purifying to the home. Burning
sage clears any unwanted energies out of the room, and welcomes high
vibration, good energy in its place. After an argument or fight, it’s a
great idea to burn sage to move that energy out, and move on. Go through
each room of your home with a burning smudge stick, waving it in a
clockwise motion with thoughts of cleansing and positivity.

2. Ask “do I really need this?”

Every few months it’s a great idea to go through your house and think
about what things are truly necessary for you to keep. Figure out which
of them you can donate, throw away or give to a friend.
As humans we tend to collect way too many items that we will never EVER
use. Keeping these things in our homes is only making us cluttered,
cramped and overwhelmed. It can be super therapeutic to get rid of the
things that no longer serve us. Let go, allow the energetic release… go
with it. The items we hold on to could be saying a lot more about us,
and you may find a deep message about your self during this release.
Extra
tip: you may find it easier to do this during a new moon, where our
bodies and mind are releasing and able to let go more easily.

3. Pink Himalayan Salt Lamps

I absolutely love pink salt, and I use it for all my cooking. But
there’s so much more it can do! Crystal lamps give off a sweet glowy
vibe that makes you feel good just by looking at it. The pink/orange
coloraffects us both physically and emotionally.
It gives off a comforting feeling of safeness and security. It’s even
said that this light is good for our nervous system, kidneys and
bladder.
Salt lamps also give off negative ion particles.
Negative ions cling to positive ion particles (which we don’t want) and
weigh them down to the ground so that they aren’t floating through our
air and putting us out of balance. This is a simple way of
energetically cleansing and purifying the air. Good vibes!

4. Singing and Dancing

Moving your body with the rhythm of your emotions is healing to the mind
and soul. And singing like no one can hear you, with fire and joy, can
be such a release. Let the spirit move you!!!! As you swing and howl or
scream with passion, you are filling each room with your uplifting,
animating vibration.

5. Beeswax Candles

beeswax candlesAnother
way to produce those lovely negative ions is by burning all natural
100% beeswax candles. Beeswax gives of a soothing deep yellow glow. This
is stress reducing and puts us in a “feel good” mood. At the same time,
negative ions are produced, cleaning the air, and also weighing down
allergens and other irritating particles.
Plus, beeswax smells amazing. This is such an inviting aroma, the subtle
sweetness of honey is oh so delicious. I could spend hours just gazing
at a lit beeswax candle and breathing in its intoxicating aroma. This
really soothes the soul.

6. Meditate

Having a clean energy in your home enhances meditation. And meditation
enhances the energy in your home! So this is a win-win situation. There
are countless benefits to this practice, and this inner work seeps into
the space around us, too. I can definitely feel this good energy in the
home of other meditators, too.
The meditation practice I do is Transcendental Meditation,
which is done twice daily – and has quite honestly changed my life. If
you think you’re ready to learn, reach out and I can get you in touch
with a recommended teacher.

7. Diffuse Essential Oils

Essential oils are one of the best ways to vibe up your space with fresh
fragrance and good energy. Each essential oil has its own qualities,
and characteristics, and you can choose based on your mood. Sweet
orange, lemon and grapefruit are very uplifting and cleansing. Lavender
and frankincense will be calming, and good for stress relief and
relaxation. You will need an essential oil burner to diffuse these
aromas. This is also the secret to having the best smelling house on the
block!!

8. Get Rid of Clutter

A clean space is a clear mind! Put the little things away, and keep
everything in order. To do this the majority of the items in your home
should have a designated space. Think about it. If you want to clean
your house, but there’s no specific space for the items wandering
around, they just end up getting piled up and moved around.
Less clutter means less overwhelm! We don’t want our minds to be any
busier than they already are. Create a sense of calm in your home
instead.
Extra
tip: Take out the trash, and OFTEN! This keeps the air smelling and
feeling fresh! If you ever find yourself feeling overwhelmed and
stagnant, taking out the trash can help bring some quick relief. 

9. Plants

Keeping live plants in the home makes it a livelier place! The more life
we welcome into our space, the more enjoyable it is, and the more
inviting it is to our guests. You want to see that the beings in this
space are thriving and full of life, a bright and beautiful splash of
green displays this perfectly. This brings me to another point. Be sure
to remove those dead plants that are dried up and collecting dust.
There’s no room for them in this high vibe and fresh space no mo’! Only
fresh and vibrant energy! The oxygen is purifying too.

10. Crystals

Having an array of beautiful and charged crystals in your home ups the
good vibes big time. You can charge your crystals to enhance their
healing properties by placing them in the sunlight, moonlight or near a
lit beeswax candle. They’re alluring to the eye, and each healing in
their own ways. Just look at how gorgeous they are! Anything with such
beauty and naturally intricate design is sure to bring good energy into
the home.

11. Burn Natural Incense

Burning incense is another lovely way to purify your home, and fill it
with a delicious scent to soothe the mind. I love to burn sandalwood,
amber and frankincense. Always be sure to buy all natural, hand rolled
incense. Never buy anything that smells “perfumey” or artificial, this
will only pump chemicals and bad vibes into the home. Keep it pure and
buy the good stuff. Prasad Celestial Incense is a brand I LOVE.

12. Fresh Flowers

flowersBringing
fresh flowers home to fill the house is so lovely.  It adds a beautiful
splash of color to brighten the room, and if they’re aromatic, you’ll
be sniffing them in all day, too. Pretty flowers, fresh vibe, these make
a welcoming home.

13. Open the Windows and Doors

Allow fresh air to fill your home for at least five minutes each day.
Let the wind naturally exchange air that has been cooped up with some
fresh and vibrant, oxygen filled breeze. Even during winter months this
should be done!

14. Listen to Vedic Mantras

The vibrations of these ancient Vedic sounds will enhance the energy in
your home and heart. Let these sounds fill your home with their energy
of bliss, allow yourself to sink into it.  I will list a few mantras
that I believe enhance mood, energy and vibrations. You can find audio
or video recordings of these mantras online. You don’t have to know
their words or understand their meanings, the vibrations do the work on
their own.
The Mrityunjaya Mantra (which literally means victory over death) is very healing to the body, and promotes good health.
The Hrim seed mantra is purifying and cleansing to the home, body and spirit.
The Gayatri is
one of my favorites. So sweet, gentle and calming. This mantra always
makes me feel safe, protected and in good hands. The Gayatri gives us a
good vibe of peacefulness and clarity.

Love Your Space

These
vibrations live in the walls, in the plants and the breaths of each
human living here. Good vibes remain, and can always be recharged,
cleansed and powered up again. You can never do any of this too much.
Keep it going, and keep it energized. Love your space.
Dwelling in a home of good vibrations connects us deeper to our inner
divinity. It brings us closer to unlocking the potential we all have
within. This lets our hearts move freely. You will FEEL this energy. Let
it charge you up, and come alive! Open up, and welcome this love and
abundance into your life.
I’ve put together a list of the products I talked about in this article
all in one place to help. These are brands I approve of and use in my
home — you can see them here:  here.
http://youarecreators.blogspot.pt/2014/07/14-ways-to-raise-vibration-of-your-home.html

segunda-feira, agosto 11, 2014

«As Cartas Secretas do Monge que Vendeu o Seu Ferrari», de Robin Sharma

Editora: Pergaminho
Data Publicação: Julho 2012
N.º de Páginas: 192

Em 2012, quinze anos após a publicação de O Monge que Vendeu o Seu Ferrari e de ter vendido mais de cinco milhões de livros, o autor americano Robin Sharma incluiu na história do seu novo livro Julian Mantle, o protagonista que fez leitores de todo o mundo (re)pensarem as suas vidas. As Cartas Secretas do Monge que Vendeu o Seu Ferrari é mais uma obra intensa e uma excelente metáfora para aqueles que buscam a paz de espírito.
Jonathan Landry é um homem de trinta anos, engenheiro electroténico numa grande empresa americana e o seu casamento está a passar por uma fase complicada. Nem a mulher e o filho de seis anos, nem os familiares e amigos são a prioridade deste homem workaholic. Na constante busca pelo sucesso e riqueza Jonathan se esqueceu de que estava a negligenciar a sua família e amigos, especialmente Juan, por quem sente-se culpado pela sua morte. É a sua mãe que chama-lhe a atenção sobre a sua vida e lhe pede que tire uns dias de férias e faça uma viagem até à Argentina, onde vive o seu primo Julian. Surpreso e reticente sobre esse estranho pedido, Jonathan sempre aceita se enveredar na viagem.
Ao aterrar em Buenos Aires Julian pede um favor ao primo mais novo, que irá ser crucial para salvar a vida de alguém: que faça uma série de viagens e em cada destino se encontre com um amigo de Julian, que será o «guardião», que lhe entregará um talismã. Ao todo são nove viagens, nove talismãs com formas diferentes, nove culturas ocidentais e orientais que farão o seu primo despertar para o essencial da vida. Cada guardião tem uma certa relação com o talismã e sabedoria nele contida e caberá ao primo fazer a conexão. Em Istambul porá em prova a Autenticidade; em Paris vencerá a sua fobia de andar de elevador; nas cidades de Osaka e Quioto na companhia do guardião Sato Ayame descobrirá o poder da Bondade; já no México e Espanha Jonathan aprenderá lições inesquecíveis com Chava e Lluis Costa; «Acha que está a viver a vida que devia viver, aquela que mais honra o seu verdadeiro eu, que celebra os seus valores mais profundos e respeita os seus sonhos mais elevados?», esta é a pergunta que a guardiã canadiana do talismã sobre a importância das relacções humanas faz ao viajante; a viagem (física e interior) só fica concluída em Deli, depois das visitas breves do protagonista a Xangai e a Phoenix.
Será que depois destas viagens e aprendizagens o protagonista será capaz de reorganizar a sua vida impetuosa? Depois de uma grande viagem retornamos sempre diferentes. Depois da leitura de uma grande história… também. Assim acontece com As Cartas Secretas do Monge que Vendeu o Seu Ferrari, uma obra que oferece ao leitor uma série de lições fáceis de serem postas em prática.
Robin Sharma é o autor de 11 best-sellers internacionais, como A Força de Viver, Sabedoria e Liderança e Descubra o Seu Destino, e costuma viajar por todo o mundo como conferencista, partilhando a sua imensa sabedoria. O autor estará em Portugal a 23 de Setembro de 2014 (mais informações).
Excertos
«Uma história só deve ser contada quando um ouvinte está pronto para a escutar.» (p. 23)
«Uma das maiores prendas que podemos oferecer a nós próprios é vermo-nos livres das nossas desculpas.» (p. 29)
«A felicidade duradoura (…) deriva da dimensão do nosso impacto, e não da extensão do nosso lucro. A verdadeira realização é produto do valor que criamos e do contributo que damos, e não do automóvel que conduzimos ou da casa que compramos.» (p. 162)

Fonte: http://silenciosquefalam.blogspot.pt/2014/08/as-cartas-secretas-do-monge-que-vendeu.html

sexta-feira, agosto 08, 2014

7 Small Habits That Will Steal Your Happiness

by Henrik Edberg

“Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy.”Wayne Dyer
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius
It is usually pretty easy to become a happier person.
It is also quite easy to rob yourself of your own happiness. To make yourself more miserable and add a big bowl of suffering to your day. It is common thing, people do it every day all over the world.
So today I’d like to combine these two things. I’d like to share 7 happiness stealing habits that I have had quite a bit of trouble with in my own daily life (and I know from all the emails I get that many of you do too).
But I’d also like to add what you can do instead if you find yourself being stuck in one of these destructive habits.

1. Going for daily swim in a sea of negative voices.
This one can be quite subtle.
You just go around in your daily life like you usually do. Hang out with the same people. Listen to the same podcasts or radio shows, watch the same old TV-shows and read the usual blogs, books and magazines.
But what influence do these things have over your thinking and the limits you set for yourself and what you feel you deserve in life?
What to do instead:
Make a list of the 5 people you hang out with the most and the 5 media sources you spend most time on during your week.
Then ask yourself this for each of these 10 things/people: is this one dragging me down or lifting me up in life?
Consider spending less time with the ones that drag you down (or cut them out completely) and to spend more of your time with the people and sources that lift you up and make you feel good, motivated etc.
If you have trouble getting started with this one, then go smaller. Take a few minutes to think about what one person or source that has the biggest negative impact on you. And how you can start to spend less time with it/him/her this week.
2. Waiting for just the right time.
When you have a dream then it is so easy to get lost in planning how you will accomplish it. To drift away in daydreams about how it will be. But also to get stuck in fears about failing with it.
So you make a common choice and wait – and wait and wait for maybe years – for just the right time to take action and get started with making that dream into something real.
What to do instead:
Sure, not every dream is something you can get started with right now. But there are many that you can get going with. Dreams that only fear is holding you back from.
So make things easy on yourself. You don’t have to dive in a big and extremely courageous jump. If that was the case then only the bravest people in the world would do and achieve what they want.
Instead, take a small step forward. Take one small action. That is it. Then tomorrow you can take another small step forward. The important thing is that you get started and get going instead spending so much time on just waiting and feeling more and more frustrated and unhappy about the state of your dreams.
3. Letting criticism get under your skin time and time again.
When someone criticizes or verbally attacks you then it may just roll off you like water of the back of a duck.
But if it on the other hand gets under your skin pretty much every time and drags you down into hours or days or self-doubt or self-beatings then you have a problem.
What to do instead:
  • Let it out. Talk it over with someone close to you to let the inner tensions out. And to find a healthier perspective on what happened together.
  • Remember: it is not always about you. If your self-esteem is low them it is easy to start thinking that all the negative things people tell you are your fault in some way. That is however often not the case. People will attack or harshly criticize to let their own steam out. Because they have had an awful day, week or simply do not like their lives that much. So don’t think it is all about you. There are two of you in this situation.
4. Focusing on the wrong people and getting lost in envy and powerlessness.
When you spend much time in your day thinking about what other people have and do and you compare your life to theirs then you have a good recipe for unhappiness.
Because you spend the attention and energy in the wrong place.
What to do instead:
Focus on you. Compare yourself to yourself. See how far you have come. The obstacles you have overcome. How you have improved in small or sometimes bigger ways. Appreciate that and yourself.
Focus not on what others have but on what YOU deep down want in your life.
And ask yourself: what is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling with this goal/dream?
Keep your focus on yourself and what you can actually do to raise your self-confidence, to start walking on your own path and to spend your limited daily time and energy on something that will actually pay off.
5. Not allowing yourself times of peace and rest during your day.
When you are busy, busy, busy all the time and give yourself no time to recharge then you soon become fatigued.
And so each step and each thing you do start to feel heavier and you do not get much enjoyment at all out of pushing and pulling yourself through it.
What to do instead:
  • Take a break every hour. Try setting the timer on your cell phone for 45 minutes. During that time-period just focus on doing your most important task at the moment. Then, as the bell rings, set the timer for 15 minutes and step away from your workspace. Have a snack, talk a walk or stretch a bit. By cycling rest and fully focused work like this you’ll get more things done, do a better job and it will be easier to keep the optimism and motivation up.
  • Be 10 minutes early. Transform those traveling times during your day into relaxing breaks instead of passages of time and space that only increase your stress levels and other negative feelings.
6. Never trying anything new.
This one can be sneaky.
It can make you think that things are pretty OK. You have your safe and comfortable routine. I know, I have been there for long stretches of time.
But during those times there was also denial of feeling dissatisfied. A vague feeling of standing still that sometimes bloomed up into a big burst of undefined, negative feelings directed towards the world or myself.
What to do instead:
  • Remind yourself of the past times when you tried something new. And how you most often did not regret it one bit but had an exciting, interesting or fun time.
  • Go small. You don’t have to try skydiving. Just take one small step and try some new and different music, a movie or book you would normally not go for or the vegetarian dish if you usually have the beef or sausage for lunch.
  • Say yes just once this week when your mind says no. If a friend invites you to go out running, doing yoga or to go fishing or to a party and your mind goes “let’s say no, that is not what I usually do” then stop yourself for a second. And reconsider. You don’t have to say yes to every suggestion you get this week to try something new, but give it a shot and say yes to just one of those things.
7. Taking things too seriously.
When you take life too seriously then it is easy to become so afraid of making a mistake of stumbling a bit that you get paralyzed in analysis.
When you take yourself too seriously then, in my experience, it becomes difficult to fully enjoy the moment and what is happening, to let go of the past and to laugh about yourself and life when you need it the most.
What to instead:
  • Put up a reminder. When I wanted to develop a lighter mindset quite a few years ago one thing that helped me was a simple note on fridge that said: Lighten Up! This reminder helped me to snap out of overly serious thoughts several times a day until this way of finding a lighter perspective became more and more of an automatic thought habit.
  • Surround yourself with lighter mindsets. As mentioned in the section about habit #1, what and who you surround yourself with will have a big effect on how you think. No matter if it is a positive or negative aspect they add. So one powerful thing to do is to add lighter mindsets via people, books, the internet etc. to your daily life.
  • Raise your self-esteem. I have found that as my self-esteem has gone up I can laugh about myself more because I am less defensive. I have more trust in myself and so I fear a temporary failure less. And I like myself more and so I am less concerned about getting everyone else to like me all the time.

http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2014/07/24/steal-happiness