There are two aspects to the brain: a logical, reasoning side, and a spontaneous, intuitive side. We need both, but advanced industrial societies tend to emphasize logical functions over those of intuitions, focusing on what can be experienced by the physical senses and on whatever is culturally agreed upon to be "reality."
This is particularly important when it comes to the matter of death. There are many beliefs about what happens after death. The response of survivors is rarely logical. Logic would dictate that when someone dies the best thing to do would be to get over it, but there is a logic of the heart which knows that there needs to be a process of mourning and grieving. The heart seems to know that once grieving is complete the way is open to the logic of the soul, which knows that death, too is an illusion.
Heart to Soul
Two stones are especially helpful in handling grief. Rose quartz is very good for the person who may resist grief because it is so painful, and instead bury emotions. If this method worked I would be all for it, but grief which remains unexpressed remains in the heart and can affect one's mood in subtle ways.
Amethyst, which helps the soul who is about to journey to another dimension by guiding it through the twilight realm between life and death, can be helpful to those who remain behind. It helps us travel the road from heart to soul.
Healing for Grief
In my own experience with mourning I've found it most important not to attempt to repress or curtail the grieving experience. Don't say to yourself, "I've cried long enough." Don't judge how long your grieving process should be.
This can be especially important if you're grieving the loss of an animal companion. There are people who don't understand; avoid them for now, and seek out people who realize that the loss of a beloved animal can be as painful as that of a human.
If you're mourning the death of a being dear to you you may find it very comforting to carry and/or wear amethyst. This is also a very good time to meditate with amethyst.
In crystal layouts it's traditionally placed on the third eye center (between and slightly above the eyebrows. A tumbled stone, heart, point, or small cluster will do.
It's also helpful to place rose quartz on the heart center at the same time, in order that the emotions may be opened, and a rhodochrosite on the solar plexus to ensure deep breathing. If you worry about getting lightheaded from meditation you may want to place a hematite or smoky quartz by your feet.
Inhale and exhale deeply. If you feel sorrow or an urge to cry at any point allow those feelings to be expressed.
Focus on the color lavender or violet. Feel that color radiating from the amethyst on your third eye and filling your being. Breathe the color in from your feet through the front of your body up to the top of your head; then exhale it down the back of your body through your feet.
Imagine the being who has gone on. Think of all you have shared. Feel how great a gift they've given you by being in your life. Realize that this gift continues in your memories.
If there is anything unfinished about your relationship: words you never spoke, a misunderstanding which was never cleared up, do the work of completion now. Silently say whatever needs to be said, and know that your words are heard and accepted.
When you are ready to end your meditation (its length is up to you) thank the being again.
Do this meditation as often as you need to.
Additional Grief Helpers
Star of Bethlehem, which is generally recommended for shock and trauma, is especially helpful in cases of sudden or unexpected death.
Angelica, which can also help you to be in contact with angels, can create or deepen your connection with the one who has passed on.
Sweet Chestnut is the flower remedy recommended for deep grief and anguish which feels as if it will never end.
These are all Bach Flower Remedies.
Frankincense helps us to release ties to the past. This doesn't mean that pleasant and loving memories will be erased, only that the individual can move forward.
Angelica has an energy similar to that of the flower essence of the same name.
Grief sometimes closes the heart chakra, and Bergamot helps to re-open it.
Article from my files:
Beyond the Rainbow