A Self-Acceptance Inventory
> The following intimacy inventory indicates where you
> stand with yourself.
> Reflect on each question honestly and truthfully. If
> your answer is no, ask
> yourself why not?
> (1) Can you reveal to yourself your innermost
> vulnerable feelings, hostile
> negative reactions, and self-damaging behaviors, as
> they currently occur
> within you, without censoring them, without shame,
> without fear or negative
> judgment about yourself?
> (2) Can you own and freely discuss with yourself as
> well as others how you
> feel about something you have done and how it
> affected you?
> (3) Can you accept complaints from others about
> yourself or your behaviors,
> objectively, without becoming defensive, while
> accessing your contribution to
> the problem and taking responsibility for your
> overt or covert
> participation? Can you freely admit it when others
> are right?
> (4) Can you freely own, express, and enjoy putting
> forth your opinions,
> ideas, and visions without fear or negative
> judgment on the part of yourself or
> (5) Are you open to touching yourself and feeling
> good about your body?
> (6) Do you feel warm inside when you see yourself
> in the mirror or think of
> (7) Do you frequently tell yourself how neat you
> are and praise yourself for
> your accomplishments, as well as the little things
> you do throughout the
> (8) Can you feel how much you love yourself and say
> to yourself, "I Love
> (9) Does it feel good to do good things for
> yourself, such as eating well,
> exercising, abstaining from addictive substances,
> getting proper rest, taking
> time for fun and pleasure, and so on?
> (10) Do you notice when you are sad or depressed
> and encourage yourself to
> explore and express the source of your feelings,
> being sincerely interested in
> what you feel and why?
> (11) Do you comfort yourself when you feel you made
> a mistake? Are you
> concerned and available to yourself if things do
> not work out the way you planned,
> encouraging yourself to discover the lesson in the
> (12) Do you give your own perspectives and ideas
> equal weight as compared
> with other people's perspectives and ideas?
> (13) Are you interested or curious about your way
> of seeing things? Do you
> explore how you see or interpret an event? Can you
> do the same for others?
> (14) Can you admit it when you are wrong, without
> shame, guilt, or getting
> down on yourself? Can you love yourself even if you
> should do the wrong thing?
> (15) Do you feel grateful for being you?
> (16) Do you make time for being alone with
> yourself, to talk with yourself,
> share feelings with yourself, and nurture yourself?
> (17) Do you make a point of greeting yourself often
> during the day by asking
> yourself, "How are you doing . . . . ?"
> (18) Do you feel free to be yourself,
> spontaneously, without inhibition,
> guilt, or judgment?
> (19) Can you freely explore aspects of yourself
> that you do not like, that
> remind you of your parents, without discomfort or
> (20) Is being alone with yourself on a par with
> eating, watching television,
> engaging in sports, work, or some other interest?
> (21) Do you look forward to being by yourself, with
> nothing to do, and enjoy
> (22) Can you openly embrace the sensitive issues or
> feelings inside you when
> they are triggered by others or the outside world?
> (23) Do you take your feelings seriously, feeling
> them without stuffing
> them, exploring their origins, rather than
> minimizing them or rationalizing them
> (24) Do you feel you have to walk on tip-toes
> around yourself and be careful
> what you say, see, imagine, or feel?
> (25) Are you aware of your needs, desires, wants,
> pleasures, and accepting
> of them? Do you consider them valuable and
> important, thus being able to act
> on them when appropriate?
> (26) Are you able to own up to angry feelings
> within yourself and express
> what you feel appropriately?
> (27) Do you find that you think critical thoughts
> of yourself, put yourself
> down for failing to meet your own expectations,
> rather than praising,
> encouraging, and supporting yourself and your
> (28) Do you blame yourself for your unhappiness, as
> well as everyone else's
> unhappiness and hold yourself responsible for their
> pain and suffering,
> rather than searching for the source of your
> feelings, understanding that you are
> doing the best you can with the awareness you have,
> and that other people are
> responsible for themselves?
> (29) Do you feel embarrassed to acknowledge to
> yourself your personal needs,
> such as your need to be loved, or can you openly
> acknowledge your needs and
> respond to them with compassion?
> (30) Can you freely express your ideas and feelings
> even when they run
> counter to other people's ideas and feelings?
> (31) Is it easy to forgive yourself for your
> mistakes and past
> (32) Can you accept yourself as you are at this
> moment without trying to
> change yourself to meet some idealized impossible
> (33) Can you trust or rely on yourself, your own
> judgments or assessments,
> and intuitive instincts?
> (34) Can you relax, have fun, and be spontaneous
> with yourself?